Family First ---Planting Lifelong Skills in Your Kids Day 7

SELF-DISAPPOINTMENT 

As parents, it’s our job to make sure our children always feel good about themselves, right? Well … not exactly. 

A growing notion in our culture today is that kids need to be protected from anything that would cause them to feel badly about themselves. To that end, recent years have seen a renewed push to have objective standards removed from society. For example, some say the grading system in public schools ought to be done away with. Others suggest wins and losses should be eliminated from competitive sports. Some have even argued that parents ought to rely only on positive forms of discipline – such as hugs and words of affirmation – so their children never feel disappointment. 

But such ideas ignore a fundamental truth: self-disappointment is an important emotion that spurs us on to personal growth. When we feel badly about our behavior, it motivates us to improve our attitude, or to work harder, or to treat others better. On the other hand, when we subscribe to a “feel-good” philosophy, poor performance isn’t viewed any differently than excellence. 

Let me be clear, a child feeling disappointed with their performance should not be confused with low self-esteem or self-hatred, which are destructive emotions. We should instill within our kids a healthy self-confidence that is based on an authentic relationship with Christ. But our children should also learn that there is such a thing as right and wrong and good and bad. Help your kids learn to find satisfaction by striving to do their very best. 


For a daily dose of encouragement and perspective, check out Jim Daly’s blog, Daly Focus, at JimDalyBlog.com.

Galatians 6:3,4 "For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself. But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another." KJV 

Family First ---Planting Lifelong Skills in Your Kids Day 6

TEACHING KIDS POSITIVE BEHAVIOR 

Every parent wants positive behavior from their child. The trick is often knowing how to get it. 

Monty Roberts is an internationally known horse trainer. He spent years developing techniques that “break” horses without violence or brutality. He discovered that adult horses communicate with younger ones through specific movements and behavior. By mimicking those core patterns himself, Monty could persuade wild horses to accept a saddle and rider without inflicting pain on the horse. 

Monty didn’t dominate the horse with a “Do as I say!” attitude. Instead, he built a connection with the horse and gained its trust by rewarding it for even the slightest compliance to his expectations. Eventually, the horse chose to cooperate with Monty. 

He believes the same concepts also work in parenting. And he and his wife ought to know, having raised nearly fifty children from foster care. Like the wild horses on his ranch, the kids received firm correction for inappropriate behavior and positive rewards for the slightest improvement. Even kids from difficult backgrounds soon trusted him and felt safe in his care. As a result, they wanted to abide by the rules of the home. 

Does this parenting method sound familiar? It should. It may be new for horses, but it’s a recipe for parenting that’s been right there in Scripture for centuries. It takes some patience and consistency, but there’s nothing like it to teach kids to make positive behavior a way of life. Is there some way you can reward your child for making a good choice today? 


For a daily dose of encouragement and perspective, check out Jim Daly’s blog, Daly Focus, at JimDalyBlog.com.

Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." KJV

Family First ---Planting Lifelong Skills in Your Kids Day 5

PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE 

Here’s an important parenting question for you: Are you teaching your children the value of practice? 

There’s a common trait I’ve noticed among all great athletes – they practice. Even those gifted with unusual natural ability put in countless hours, preparing for the next game. But why? Why would athletes – who have risen to a professional level and are able to compete with the best in the world in their sport – why would they still put in such sweat and determination? The answer is simple. They work on their form and hone their skill in practice, so when they are immersed in the pressure of a real game, their performance will naturally rise to the level of their capabilities. 

And, really, living life isn’t much different. As parents, we should encourage our children to practice – practice treating others with respect, practice coming alongside people in need, practice defending the truth of God and what’s right. The reason is the same. When our kids leave home and strike out on their own, they’ll need to have the skills of life ingrained within them, so they’ll know how to treat their spouse, how to treat their kids, how to live a godly life. 

American dancer, Martha Graham, said “We learn by practice. Whether it means to learn dancing by practicing dancing or to learn to live by practicing living, the principles are the same.” Moms and dads, let’s encourage our kids to practice the art of living well. 


For a daily dose of encouragement and perspective, check out Jim Daly’s blog, Daly Focus, at JimDalyBlog.com.

James 1:22 "But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves." KJV

Family First ---Planting Lifelong Skills in Your Kids Day 4

TEACHING KIDS MONEY MANAGEMENT 

Many parents don’t bother teaching their kids about money until they’re teenagers. It seems logical. After all, that’s when kids get jobs and have money of their own to spend. But, by waiting, we miss some invaluable opportunities for them to learn how to be wise with money. 

Jonathan Clement, formerly with the Wall Street Journal, offers a helpful idea for parents wanting to teach their young kids how to manage money. He suggests allowing children to treat the money we give them as their own. So for example: Let’s say your nine-year-old son has a school field trip coming up. Clement advises giving the boy the money he needs, but don’t simply say, “Have a good time.” Likewise, don’t ask him to bring back the change. In both cases, you can be sure he’ll spend it all and will learn nothing about managing it wisely. 

Instead, try this. Tell your child the money is his, and he can keep whatever he doesn’t use on the field trip to buy something later on he might want. Your son may very well blow every penny that day, but that’s okay. You can bet he’ll regret it later when he spots a toy he’s been wanting, but his pockets are empty. And you can be sure of one more thing, too: The next time he’s asked to handle his money wisely, he’ll likely show a bit more caution in his decision making. And you will have planted seeds of stewardship that will grow into a greater awareness of God’s economy. 


For a daily dose of encouragement and perspective, check out Jim Daly’s blog, Daly Focus, at JimDalyBlog.com.

Luke 16:10 "He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much"KJV

Family First ---Planting Lifelong Skills in Your Kids Day 3

LET YOUR KIDS SAY NO 

There’s a crucial life skill missing among teenagers. Far too many seem incapable of resisting their friends when it counts. The good news is your kids can learn to say “no.” But keep in mind, you have to let them start with you. 

The word “no” is an important boundary. It’s a way to separate ourselves from other people. Without it, we can’t have our own opinions or beliefs, and our individuality gets swept away by others more willing to speak their mind. 

Sadly, the reluctance to express an opinion often begins at home. When a child tells a parent “no” or disagrees over some matter, it’s often considered “backtalk.” And how does the parent usually react? They stamp out the child’s behavior with a stern warning that it had better never happen again. Is it any wonder, then, that kids dread taking a stand against the outside world when their opinion is so readily condemned by those closest to them? 

Mind you, a child shouldn’t be allowed to speak disrespectfully to a parent or to dismiss their authority. But kids learn to take value in their opinions – and themselves – when their parents value their perspective. So, as long as your child behaves respectfully, allow them room to have an opinion, especially when it differs from yours. It’ll give them the confidence to stand firm in their Christian values out in the real world where it counts most. 


For a daily dose of encouragement and perspective, check out Jim Daly’s blog, Daly Focus, at JimDalyBlog.com.

1 Corinthians 16:13 "Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong." KJV

Family First ---Planting Lifelong Skills in Your Kids Day 2

CHILDREN AND CHORES 

Do you require your children to do chores around the house? If your answer is “no,” you may want to reconsider that decision. As a father of two young boys, I’d hate to deprive my kids of one of the most important opportunities they have to prepare for adulthood. 

Household chores may be one of the most overlooked areas for growth in children. For younger kids, simple tasks like picking up toys or making their bed can be an ideal way to build self-confidence. When a toddler successfully completes small jobs they’re given, they feel good about themselves, and they’ll want to take on even bigger challenges. That’s a quality they’ll need in abundance as they move through their elementary school years. 

If you have an older child, you’ve probably encountered a different scenario. The closer a child gets to the teen years, the more helping mom and dad around the house loses its luster. But parents shouldn’t give in to a child’s complaining too quickly. Emptying a dishwasher may seem insignificant, but even mundane tasks can help teens develop the maturity they’ll need as adults to do what needs to be done. 

Household chores can play an important role in a child’s development. Like schoolwork, they help children learn how to take responsibility for a series of tasks and see each one through to completion. And that’s a skill they’ll lean on their entire life as they seek to be obedient to God’s calling. 


For a daily dose of encouragement and perspective, check out Jim Daly’s blog, Daly Focus, at JimDalyBlog.com.

Proverbs 22:15 "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him." KJV

Family First ---Planting Lifelong Skills in Your Kids Day 1

Hello Bloggers, 

I'm a single mother of three children and it ain't easy. I ALWAYS ask myself am I truly being an example? I wonder if I'm planting lifelong knowledge in my children. I've saw many families fall apart when the backbone of the family passes on. I want my children to be able to stand alone and definitely stand on God's word. I've started this week long devotional reading about planting lifelong skills in your children. I thought I would share. I will be posting a devotional reading along with the scriptures from the bible that coincide with the topic of the day. I hope you enjoy.

HELPING KIDS LEARN FROM THEIR MISTAKES 

Sometimes successful parenting is all in how you perceive a situation. For example, do you view your kids’ mistakes as frustrations that interrupt your day? Or are they, as James Joyce called them, “a portal to discovery”? 

A colleague told me the story of a mother who set the course for her son’s life simply in the way she reacted to his mistakes. One day, as a little boy, he dropped a jug of milk in the kitchen. 

Seeing her son standing in a large puddle of milk, the mother could have yelled, lectured him, or pointed a stern finger in his face. Instead, she smiled and reassured him that mistakes were a part of life. After helping him clean up the mess, she suggested they fill the jug with water, so he could practice carrying it. Years later, that little boy became a scientist, who attributed much of his success to his mother’s attitude. He learned from her that mistakes were nothing to be feared because they were opportunities for learning something new. 

It’s in the growing-up years that kids learn mostly through experience – that is, through mistakes. That’s why it’s important for parents to create a healthy, loving environment where kids feel safe, even in failure. It’s all a matter of perspective for you as a parent. Are your child’s mistakes a doorway to your anger? Or do you view them as an opportunity to model God’s love and help your child grow and learn something new? 


For a daily dose of encouragement and perspective, check out Jim Daly’s blog, Daly Focus, at JimDalyBlog.com.

1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love." KJV